Two females watching a blonde walk by ... Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, . . . "Dyed by her own hand!" Contributed by: Mary Mitchell

Silver Dildo This Guy who owns a porno shop and has his friend watch the store while he runs some errands. While the owner is away in walks this red head lady. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that pink dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$25." She said, "I'll take it!" A few minutes later in walks this brunette. She walks up to the counter and asks, "How much for that purple dildo up on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$50." She said, "I'll take it." A while later this blonde walks in. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She walked up to the counter and asked, "How much for that big silver dildo on the shelf?" The guy replies, "$100." She pays him and leaves. In walks the owner and asks how business was doing, and his friend replies, "I sold the pink dildo for $25, I sold the purple dildo for $50, and I sold your THERMOS for a $100."

The $50 bet A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owed. The redhead said "I can't take this, you're my friend". The blonde said "No. A bet's a bet". So the redhead said "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money". The blonde replied "well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"

Fishing in the ice A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, I AM THE OWNER OF THIS ICE RINK!

Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in 3rd grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.